“Dear Internet” by Tina Fey
From PerezHilton.com/Posted by jerkstore on Wednesday, 1/21/2009, 11:21 P.M.
“In my opinion Tina Fey completely ruined SNL. The only reason she’s celebrated is because she’s a woman and an outspoken liberal. She has not a single funny bone in her body.”
Huzzah for the Truth Teller! Women in this country have been over-celebrated for too long. Just last night there was a story on my local news about a “missing girl,” and they must have dedicated seven or eight minutes to “where she was last seen” and “how she might have been abducted by a close family friend,” and I thought, “What is this, the News for Chicks?” Then there was some story about Hillary Clinton flying to some country because she’s secretary of state. Why do we keep talking about these dumdums? We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?
When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone would notice, but I persevered because—like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle—it was a labor of love.
I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I feel safe with you, jerkstore, so I’ll say it. Everything you ever hated on SNL was by me, and anything you ever liked was by someone else who did it against my will.
P.S. You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.”
why dogs dont belong in the ad room
They growl at crew members
i cannot leave my door open because the dog will run out… there fore it becomes a STINK box
they try and eat you lunch
they slobber ALL over you
They bed takes up half the fucking SPACE
their dog food smells like ass
water is spilled EVERYWHERE
they are definitly a TRIPPING HAZARD (act safe anyone?)
they fucking FART
they have to be walked ALL the time
They must not go unattended to ANY time
they jump on you
Being stared at for 10 minutes straight isnt exactly my idea of bonding
Did i mention that they SMELL????!?!?!?!?!
Ladies and gentlemen.. even though you are the boss of me, does NOT mean you dog is to.
I feel dirty. Im having a shower and going to fucking bed.
living the dream
going to paris in august!!!!! gonna save like a MAD man, and then shop till it hurts!!! seriously. it will happen
After ordering my 5th margarita the waitress asks… R u celebrating something today… In my replay I say…. Uhhh no? Monday maybe… Ha
that was my evening yesterday…I totally feel like going out again.
Its gonna be FUNNNNNN!!!! can’t wait to Start!!! met with my boss’ today!!! And i think im going to purchase some new gear!!! Its gonna be PRICEY!!! but WORTH IT! I need and want a CANADA GOOSE!! and some Sorel boots! gonna need them!!! I think i need the Gor Tex one. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm work clothes!
im taking a liking to Pinterest….. hummm
Sometimes I sit here and wonder how people get the way they r. Spoiled children. With everything . Who get away with everything. I should have said no. I am beginning to remember why I was happy when it was over this summer. Today I got told that her tutor wasn’t coming cause she waited 12 minutes. Yeah seriously and she was fighting with me about it. I said people r late sometimes. Also I went to the other gals house and there was a sink full of dishes. Fuck that. I did not clean that shit up. No fucking thank u. There were no towels anyways and plus I was not unloading the dishwasher in a new house in a giant kitchen where I don’t know where anything goes. Just sayin. This crap happened to me on the first day and I got told I needed to clean up the kitchen too. Between all this tight schedule activity shit when the hell am I supposed to do it…. Helllllooooo! I also had to pick up tights today…. That cost 50 bucks for 3 pairs… Seriously… Go to Walmart people.